We are halfway through the bathroom remodel, and I’ve been without my master bath for over four weeks now. While I’m itching for it to be finished, to say it has been super easy and fun would be a lie. I thought I loved renovations and designing new spaces but this project has really made me question everything.
Since this is the first big project I’ve taken on since starting my blog, the pressure is on to make it perfect. I didn’t expect to feel so insecure in all of my design choices, but I continue to have thoughts that if this bathroom isn’t perfectly “Instagram worthy”, than no one will want to continue reading my blog. Yikes. That’s some intense pressure.
Over the past year, I have thought about this bathroom a lot and felt incredibly inspired. I was very confident in the vision I had for it. However, when it came time to actually start buying stuff, I second guessed almost every single thing I chose.
Challenges Along the Way
One huge hurdle was choosing the right floor. I had decided on a wood-like tile like this one my parents just put in their bathroom.
The tile is seriously beautiful and very functional for a bathroom. I was feeling great about my choice but later realized that any kind of tile is not ideal in my small space. Since I don’t have a basement or garage there is no ideal place to cut the tiles without making an enormous mess. After recognizing all the downfalls, I decided it wasn’t a good idea. I will save that for my next house.
My next choice was luxury vinyl planks. I already have this in my kitchen and I like it a lot. They are 100% waterproof, so it’s also a great option for bathrooms. LVP was also ideal for me since it doesn’t have to acclimate at all– I didn’t have much time to get it ordered and installed before the shower panels were scheduled to be installed.
After a combined nine trips to Home Depot and Lowe’s, I just couldn’t settle on a color for the floor. I couldn’t find that perfect “one” that you immediately fall in love with. I felt very mediocre about all of the options. The one that I picked would have to work because I had no time for returning or reordering new floor. I started to feel like such a failure because I couldn’t make a choice. I just kept thinking, “Does Joanna Gaines have struggles like this or do I just suck that much?” lol.
I finally settled on a floor I liked, but honestly I think I chose it just to be done stressing about it. Well, that didn’t work. I continued to stress that I made the wrong choice and wouldn’t be able to return it. No joke, I asked three different people if I could return it (but again, returning it was not really even an option because the marble installation was already scheduled and we had no time to wait for new flooring to arrive). I was getting so annoyed with myself. Why couldn’t I just make a choice and love it right away? I haven’t felt this unsatisfied with any other room in my house, so why was this bathroom so hard?
More Hurdles
The floor looks very similar to my kitchen, and I reassured myself that’s a good thing. I like the cohesiveness with the rest of my home. In the end, any floor would be nicer than the linoleum and carpet we ripped out. Unfortunately, I couldn’t accept that fact and continued to feel the pressure to prove myself as a worthy blogger.
The other huge challenge in this space was the paint color. If you haven’t read my previous post about choosing white paint, you can do so here. Last minute plot twist, I ended up using the color Alabaster by Sherwin Williams. It’s more of a creamy white and was one of the options I previously eliminated. Funny how much my mind changes. Actually, not funny at all. It’s dang annoying.
The vanity and light fixture were other daunting tasks. I don’t know why I thought this renovation would be easy. My parents very generously gave me their old vanity that my dad built years ago. After months of debating on the perfect sage color for it, I went with a beautiful, soft green. I even bought a sample and painted one side of the vanity to be sure I loved it. When I went to get a quart of it in cabinet paint, I was told they couldn’t match that exact color in the brand I wanted (they could if it was wall paint, but color matching doesn’t exist in cabinet paint, apparently). All that time choosing the perfect color felt like a complete waste. Behr Frosted Jade was the closest color to what I wanted, so I went with that.
Feeling Blue
I painted the vanity in my kitchen since there’s more room and my dad was working on the bathroom floor at the same time. When I finished painting it, I loved the color… then we moved it into the bathroom. With the change in lighting and lack of natural light in the bathroom, I suddenly hated the color. It did not look sage or subtle at all, but rather a very bold in-your-face aqua. I was heartbroken. I had envisioned a very muted color and that was not what it was. It seems like such a small problem but I was fighting back the tears just looking at it.
After all this stress, I was surprisingly still excited about the light fixture I ordered. It has a beautiful matte black exterior, but the inside of each light cover is copper. Seriously, so beautiful. After it was installed though, I realized that the light covers cast a huge shadow on the top part of the bathroom walls, making the space feel super dark. Especially since I have vaulted ceilings in this bathroom, everything above the light is so dark. Could anything else go wrong?
I was seriously reconsidering my talent by this point. I thought I was good at this kind of stuff and literally everything that could go wrong, had. On top of all that, I felt bad making my dad work harder. I asked him to take down this light fixture and replace it with the new one, not knowing if I would like that one either. We moved the vanity in and out of the bathroom multiple times while I decided if I wanted to repaint it or not, I debated repainting the walls, and I delayed him installing the toilet until I was sure I was keeping the vanity color. If you know me, you know that if I don’t love something, I will find a way to change it.
Feeling like my bathroom would be ugly (okay so not ugly, but just not something I am proud of), I told myself that I probably won’t show any after pictures on my feed. There’s no way this could be good enough for Instagram. I also convinced myself that if I end up hating anything, I can change it.
Lessons Learned
That’s all the updates on the bathroom for now. The good news is that I am starting to love the green vanity. With the new light fixture, it looks way softer and matches my original vision. Phew, thank goodness. In the midst of all the unexpected, I did learn some very important things. First, I need to be kind to myself and give myself some grace. All of this stress and indecisiveness does not mean that I don’t have an eye for design. It’s all part of the process (at least for me).
The biggest thing I’ve learned through this project, is to trust God. It’s been very clear to me lately that when things don’t go as planned (hello- literally every single day of my life), I can still trust that His plan is greater than mine. I bought new paint for the vanity that I don’t think I will use but also can’t return. However, maybe God has the perfect project waiting for me to use that paint on in the future. I’ve learned to look for Him in the midst of the heartbreak and disappointments.
Still on the to do list:
- Install the new toilet (now that I’m keeping the green vanity)
- Find cute knobs for the vanity
- Find a mirror (this could take a while with my indecisiveness)
- Get all the accessories (towel bars, shower rod)
- Baseboards and door casing
- Install shower and tub faucets
- Get a new doorknob and hinges
- Install the transition piece from the floor to the carpet
- Decorate (the best part, am I right?)
Maybe you’re thinking, why is she talking about trusting God in a post about her bathroom renovation? I just felt it on my heart to share the internal struggles I’ve been facing lately. My ideas never go as smoothly as planned, but that doesn’t mean they are bad. Stay tuned to see the finished bathroom and pray I love all of my choices, no matter how long it takes me to decide on each one.
